For those in a committed relationship, seeking a significant other, or blatantly “single and fed up,” best-selling author Mat Boggs explained his secrets of relationship-building in a seminar last Thursday called “Cracking the Man Code.” His seminar was followed by a man panel session that answered live audience questions.
Although the event was centered on understanding men, Boggs said the discussion-based seminar was to help people understand the opposite sex and develop longer-lasting connections.
Boggs said that everything in life comes back to relationships, from school to career choices to the money people make. Life is about “learning how to connect with people,” he said.
The main problem is that women expect men to interpret their “signals” like their female friends do, and vice versa.
Boggs said this problem of missing signals arises because of unfamiliarity with the biological differences between men and women. “As guys, often the big challenge is when men expect women to think and operate the way we do, and ladies you expect men to think and operate the way you do. Men and women are so different we couldn’t be further apart,” he said.
To demonstrate how women and men are different, Boggs discussed how women have superior senses compared to men, like having 30 percent more cones in the eye’s retina. Retina detects color, and that is why women make specific color classifications like mauve or ivory snow.
Boggs also said women have super hearing, 180 degrees of peripheral vision, and superior smell and taste. These senses can decode a man’s immune system within three seconds of a kiss. If his immune system is not compatible with that of the woman, the kiss will fall flat.
According to Boggs, the key to understanding the differences between men and women came down to three rules: the law of polarity, the law of chemistry, and the law of elasticity.
The law of polarity is the idea that opposites attract; masculine attracts feminine and vice versa.
Boggs said masculine qualities include goal-oriented, competitive, and efficient, whereas feminine qualities include emotional and intuitive. Both men and women can exhibit masculine and feminine features; the secret is knowing when to turn it on and off when pursuing a significant other.
Boggs said strong, independent women make this mistake by channeling their masculine side more than their feminine side, and they complain that they attract “feminine” men.
Boggs suggested that women partake in “joyful receptivity,” or simply appreciating the favors a man does for a woman. Women should avoid “mistakes early on in dating that can deflate a man’s masculinity. Number one [mistake] is you pursue him, because whoever is the pursuer is masculine,” he said.
“Number two, you thinking chase means hard to please. We [men] want to please you. In fact, a man won’t ask a woman on a second date if he doesn’t think it could ever happen.”
Third mistake, “you try to give back. Now it doesn’t mean we don’t like this, it just doesn’t charge us up early in the relationship.” Men can interpret receiving gifts as competition, Boggs said.
The law of chemistry is about the difference between men and women’s brains. A man’s brain is compartmenta. “Have you ever tried to get a man’s attention while he’s watching sports center?” He said men are usually unresponsive when watching television.
Boggs said that is why men “look like fools when they see women… if guy is a bubbling idiot, take it as a compliment.” Men can only handle one task at a time.
Women, on the other hand, have a corpus callosum that is 20 percent larger than mens’. The greater size gives women multitasking abilities and helps them connect everything in their life, and it’s all charged by emotion.
The downside is that female brains never shut off, whereas male brains have an “empty suite” that has no brain activity.
The third secret, the law of elasticity pertains to the different hormones in male and females. Men are charged up by the hormone dopamine, which makes him feel like a man. Dopamine is triggered by success, exercise, action movies, driving, or anything slightly dangerous.
Women are charged by the hormone oxytocin, which is triggered by talking, cuddling, or any form of communication and collaboration with people.
The law of elasticity is the idea that women’s oxytocin suppresses men’s dopamine, like when women talk too much and drive men away. If a man’s dopamine is running low, women should allow him to depart so that he could engage in an activity that raises his dopamine level (like playing video games).
Likewise for women, hunger depresses oxytocin; if a woman is grouchy, it just means they need food.
Between twenty to thirty students attended the event, which was well-received by laughter and responsiveness.
“I thought it was hilarious. I really enjoyed this. The tips are helpful so I can definitely use them for relationships,” Sophomore Yesenia Sanchez said.
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